Oompaloompas (oohm pah loom puhs)

Anthem: Oompa Loompa Doopity Doo
Capital: Loompatopia
Language: Oopaloompan (dancing)
Currency: Loompas

Geography

Oompaloompas is located on a small, remote island somewhere between the United States of America and Europe.

Environment

Oompaloompas has a tropical environment. The favorable climate helps their fruit trade.

History

Formation

Oompaloompas is a conglomerate made up of small tribes that eventually joined into one state. They were brought together by their practice of a shared religion.

World War I, World War II, and Cold War

The Oompaloompans fought covertly in the first two World Wars and were involved in the Cold War.

When Archduke Franz Ferdinand was assassinated, an Oompaloompan spy took photographs and showed them to various world leaders in secret. One member of Room 40 was an Oompaloompan. His name was never released due to a request by the Oompaloompan government. There was a group of twenty-three elite Oompaloompan soldiers on the RMS Lusitania that launched their armored balloon upon its sinking. The group escaped back to Oompaloompas on the balloon and reported the attack. The Oompaloompans then entered the war covertly, flying over enemy lines and dropping rock bombs. They were never seen thanks to new cloaking technology, and the bombs went unnoticed in the heat of battle.

In World War II, an Oompaloompan was taken prisoner by Nazis, and placed in a concentration camp. The Oompaloompan rescued several others and escaped using his armored balloon. He dropped his entire payload of rock bombs and metallic rock bombs on nearby Nazi office buildings and fled back to Oompaloompas. The attacks were covered up by Nazi Germany. Angered by the behavior of the Axis Powers, the Oompaloompan military developed Oompaloompan dance bombs. The dance bombs cause uncontrollable dancing; the dance is always the same and is the Oompaloompan dance sentence for "All hail the Time God. Oompaloompas rules." The German and Japanese forces suffered several bombing raids, and were easily defeated by Allied forces.

In the Cold War, Oompaloompas competed in the nuclear arms race, creating a largescale dance bomb and a new weapon called the Earthraiser that burrows into the ground before detonation and causes spires of rock to explode upward from the ground. However, without nuclear technology, Oompaloompas was all but ignored by the United States of America and Soviet Union.

Government

The Oompaloompan government is a theorcracy and a brutal dictatorship run by the Llama, a religious and political leader who in actuality is a real llama (the animal), only used as a figurehead.

Military and diplomacy

The military of Oompaloompas is somewhat primitive, and yet also quite powerful. Oompaloompans utilize unique weaponry and vehicles that no other country has equivalences to.

Weapons technology

The primary weapons of the Oompaloompans are genetically engineered fruit bombs, rock bombs, metallic rock bombs, and tree cannons. Their air force makes heavy use of special armored balloons from which they often drop their various bomb types. Smaller versions of the Oompaloompan armored balloons are carried by foot soldiers, and can be easily stored on their person and later be quickly deployed from virtually any location. Foot soldiers use tree cannons, made from shnoz wood, which comes from the native shnoz tree, which has rock-hard wood and iron-hard bark.

Foreign relations

The Oompaloompans are somewhat secretive and like to keep to themselves, so they do not interact very much with other nations. The Oompaloompans dislike most European nations due to the events of World Wars I & II. They are slightly envious of American and Russian technology, but not enough to attempt to ask for it.

Economy

All lime green yoga balls come from Oompaloompas. It is their top export. They produce some other large rubber lime green exercise equipment, as well as exotic animals, fruit, and fruit wines.

Science and technology

The Oompaloompans have a great deal of advanced agricultural technology. Using their unique methods, they can grow more fruit trees per acre than any other country. All Oompaloompan technology is developed by state-sponsored research organizations. The first Oompaloompan invention was the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, made with American peanut butter and Oompaloompan shnooganberry jelly.

Transportation

Oompaloompans use small motorized trains that are ridden like motorcycles for ground transportation. They also use portable hot air balloons for aerial transportation.

Demographics

Language

Oompaloompans communicate entirely through interpretive dance. They have dances to describe instructions, worship dances, eating dances, dances for general conversation, and dances for several other daily activities. The written version of Oompaloompan consists of several symbols that correspond to certain dance moves which, when translated, come together to form words.

Religion

Very little is known about Oompaloompans because they’re so isolated. The Oompaloompans did, however, record their religious history.

The God of Life created Oompaloompans. Things were good for a while. A new god rose, the God of Death. And the forces canceled each other out. Nothing could exist in the world. Then one god to oversee them all, the God of Time, came and to keep the gods of life and death in check, he enforced the rule of time. Time is the one force that can keep Life and Death apart because life and death cannot coexist.

Key Beliefs

  • There’s a Time for Everything: Eating, sleeping, socializing – everything is set to a specific time of day or night.
  • Worship of the God of Time is required for 30 minutes daily, starting at 3pm. Worship of the God of Life is required for 30 minutes daily at sunrise. Worship of the God of Death is required for 30 minutes daily, starting at sunset.
  • Sun & Moon Sacred: The sun represents life and the moon death.

Places of Worship

Oompaloompans have stone temples. A hole in the Eastern wall allows sunlight through at sunrise.

Priesthood

High Priests are rarely seen, living beneath their stone temples. During the day, they discuss religious documents and write new ones.

Until the turn 18, young priests are in training. Selection for the priesthood happens at birth. Young priests live with the other priests beneath the stone temples.

Between the ages of 18 and 45, priests lead daily worship services.

After age 45, priests train apprentices.

Education

Oompaloompan students learn history, culture, and religion through music and dance in small elevated schoolhouses.

Health

Oompaloompans perform healing based upon their religion using special fruits and leaves. Oompaloompans lead fairly healthy lifestyles thanks to heavy exercise from farming, dancing, and other activities.


Crime and punishment

Oompaloompas has low crime rates due to their busy and fulfilling lifestyles and restricted weaponry. Rare crimes include fruit theft, assault, and public nudity. Any crimes committed in Oompaloompas are punishable by death.

Culture

Media

The Oompaloompan church has a radio show that is listened to by a high percentage of Oompaloompan citizens daily. Television is outlawed in Oompaloompas and they have no Internet-enabled computers, with the exception of the church and government; normal citizens sometimes have somewhat dated non-Internet-enabled computers They communicate between huts using string phones and sometimes regular wired phones, but there are no mobile or wireless phones.

Arts

Painting and fruit sculpting are popular artistic pursuits in Oompaloompas. Oompaloompans have great expertise in landscapes of their area, portraits of neighbors, and paintings of colorful fruit. Certain Oopmaloompan fruits, usually hard with thick peels, are used for sculpting.

Food and clothing

The Oompaloompan diet consists mainly of fruits, sheep meat, and vegetables. They make fruit wines out of their native fruits. Because of their low-protein diet, the average height of an Oompaloompan is three feet. Oompaloompans make their own clothing from sheep wool, and use fruit oils to dye the clothing.


Sports

Sheep rodeo is the most popular Oompaloompan sport. They breed their sheep to be large and ferocious. Oompaloompan sheep can kick powerfully, and are sometimes a hassle for even non-Oompaloompans to ride. Their behavior is much like that of bulls.